Healing from Gaslighting in a Narcissistic Relationship

Welcome to this week’s blog. This week is a bit different from the usual: In this blog, I have a prayer that you can pray for yourself if you find yourself facing gaslighting in a relationship with a narcissist. Before I get into the prayer, let me briefly explain what gaslighting is and why it’s so detrimental.

Understanding Gaslighting

One of the most central features of a relationship with a narcissist is crazy-making gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone denies reality to make you doubt yourself.

Whether the person gaslighting is conscious of what they're doing or not, it doesn't really matter. They're still 100% responsible, and it's still 100% manipulation. Narcissists gaslight in order to get control or maintain control.

I like to describe gaslighting as a war on reality.  When a narcissist or abusive person pushes their version of reality, imposing on you a narrative that isn’t based on the truth, it creates a lot of confusion. They often present their version of reality so confidently and with arrogance that shames and belittles you, leaving you questioning your own judgments and perceptions. Chances are, at some point or another, you wonder if maybe there is something fundamentally off with you.

This can be especially scary when you are dealing with a covert narcissist because they operate out of a false self and live in a false reality. A covert narcissist presents a public persona, a benevolent, kind, caring, generous, humble public persona that can win the affection, love, and loyalty of many people. But once the doors are closed, and no one but those closest and “dearest” can see, their personality changes. Here, they drop their mask and can turn into a tyrant or an abuser. Since very few people see this dark side, this kind of narcissism is called covert narcissism.

All too often, while you see this scary, hidden version of the narcissist, there are a bunch of people on the outside who love and trust the narcissist. As the narcissist pushes their version of reality, shaming and blaming you, nitpicking and fault finding, it can be crazy-making. The narcissist elevates themselves and their faculties and diminishes you and your faculties. You see the sky, and it looks blue, but the narcissist will shame you for saying the sky is blue and do their utmost to drill into you that the sky is green. Because they paint the picture of the green sky so convincingly to those who don’t see behind their mask, they create a group of fans, admirers, followers, and loyal people who also see that the sky is green and recruit them to try to convince you. It can be very confusing to be faced with so many people who believe in a reality that doesn’t line up with what you see. It’s very, very confusing. Eventually, you can feel like you are going crazy. If you don’t find a way out of the craziness, you begin to lose trust in yourself and become destabilized.

Unless you’ve experienced this, and unfortunately, many people have, it’s very difficult to understand this kind of manipulation and abuse.

Because this kind of psychological manipulation is so powerful and insidious, I want to pray with you to break free from that oppression. This is a prayer for healing, a prayer to find your strength in God in the face of this manipulation. I’ve written this prayer from the promises of God in the Bible. These promises express God’s heart towards those who love and follow Him.

You can listen to me pray this over you on YouTube, or you can pray for yourself with the written copy below.

Prayer of Healing and Strength in the Face of Gaslighting

Heavenly Father,

Thank You that I am Your creation, created in Your image.
God, would You fill me with your love and presence until I am overflowing.
May Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, envelop me and guard my heart and mind.
You did not give me a spirit of fear but of power and love and a sound mind.
I pray for the restoration of my sound mind.
May it become like a fortress that is impenetrable to the crazymaking of the gaslighter.

I remember that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
You know the plans You have for me, plans for my welfare and not for evil,
plans to give me a hope and a future.
I am not an accident but a divine creation with a purpose ordained by You.
I pray that I would know that purpose and walk into the plans You had for me
since the beginning of the foundation of the world.

May Your comfort and presence envelop me.
May I know You as the one who strengthens me, helps me,
and upholds me with Your righteous right hand.
Where there are lies, deception, and manipulation going on in my world,
I declare Your truth to prevail.
May every lie, pretense, and distortion be uncovered and revealed for what it is in Jesus’ name.
Would You take all the chaos and confusion that the gaslighter is wreaking in my world and in my mind,
and set things in their rightful order.
Jesus said, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
I pray that I would discern the fullness of truth
and come to see the truth behind every lie, manipulation, and distortion.
Keep my mind and soul rightfully balanced and aligned with You.
God, You take every crooked place and make it straight.
Guide me and grant me to experience the freedom that Jesus Christ came to give.
May the Holy Spirit lead me into all truth, discerning the lies, deceptions,
and double-mindedness of the gaslighter.

I pray that I would be so grounded in the truth that no manipulation, lie, or charm
could steer me or move me off course.
As Jesus declared, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life." You lead us into all truth.
I pray that I would become like a tree planted by rivers of water.
May my leaves not wither, even when words are spoken to cause me to doubt or feel weakened.
Instead, may I be nourished by the river of life, supplied with God's abundant grace.
I pray against the enemy who seeks to steal, kill, and destroy
through the gaslighter, and the accuser. of the brethren
I pray for Your protection from the hurtful words of my abuser,
from the schemes of the enemy working through them,
and may any undeserved curse not find a place to land.
I pray that no weapon that is fashioned against me shall succeed,
and that the words of the accuser would have no power over me.

Protect me and keep me hidden under the shadow of Your wings.
May You release angels to guard me from all harm.
I pray You shield me from walking in fear.
For You has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
I possess the mind of Christ, and I declare that I will operate and function with the mind of Christ.
I pray that I would know my identity in You, my identity in Christ Jesus.

I pray that You would grant me powerful discernment to recognize
the lies and distortions of the gaslighter,
even those that are cleverly cloaked as something good.
The enemy often masquerades as an angel of light using charm, deception through smooth words,
So, I pray that I would be granted the ability to see through the lies within the heart
and to discern when there's duplicity, manipulation, and deceit.

God, I ask You to break the power of the gaslighter's witchcraft and mind control over my life.
May Your helmet of salvation be forever over my mind, protecting me from harm.
May I hold up my shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil,
and put on salvation as my helmet,
guarding my mind against penetration by the fiery arrows of the evil one.
May I take up the sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of God,
and resist the lies of the enemy with God's Word and truth.
May Your truth be my defense against the deceptions of the gaslighter.

God, I pray You would strengthen my identity so I may know who I am in You
and trust that You have given me Your mind and Your heart.
May You protect me and keep me from all harm and watch over my life.
Watch over my coming and going both now and forevermore.
I pray that I would find refuge in Your protective embrace.
May You lead me into my purpose and calling and show me the way forward.
I also pray that You would give me Your wisdom generously so that I will know exactly what to do,
even when the gaslighter seeks to put me in a fog or cause chaos and confusion.
Would You make things clear and plain as day to me and show me the way forward and out of the toxicity.
I pray Your Word would be a lamp unto my feet and light unto my path.
I pray all these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

Related Resources

Download a printable version of this prayer here. Or, watch the video version of this prayer here.
- How God Deals with a Gaslighter [Watch] [Read]
- Five Forms of Gaslighting and How to Resist Them [Watch]

Find more resources in our topic-based catalog.

Downloadable Resources 

• Signs of Spiritual Abuse or Cultish Environments Checklist 
• 20 Signs that You Might Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse
• How to Pray for a Narcissist Guide