7 Insightful Proverbs from the Bible on How to Deal with Narcissists

Have you ever wondered if the Bible holds the key to dealing with the narcissist in your life? You've probably come across a lot of advice online, which has been helpful and needed, but what if you could find timeless wisdom for dealing with narcissists in the Bible?

In particular, I’ve found that the Bible is full of stories and advice that hold the keys to navigating a relationship with a narcissist. In this blog, I want to focus on the Book of Proverbs, which is a treasure trove of wisdom and holds much-needed insights for dealing with narcissists. I’ve read through the Book of Proverbs many times and have jotted many insights that I find particularly relevant to narcissistic relationships. In this blog, I’m going to share seven of them with you. But there is so much more than these seven insights in the Book of Proverbs, so I encourage you to read the entire book for yourself and let the Bible’s ancient wisdom sink in.

Narcissism in the Proverbs

First, let's clarify something important. The Book of Proverbs doesn't use our modern-day term "narcissist." Nowhere in the Bible is the word narcissist used. However, that doesn’t mean the Bible is silent on this issue of narcissism—quite the opposite. The Bible describes narcissistic people with different terms—like 'fool,' 'scoffer,' and 'wicked person’ depending on how far along a person is on the continuum of narcissism.

In Proverbs, the author often contrasts a godly person with a ‘fool.’ It turns out that the proverbial fool shares many of the same characteristics that constitute what we call narcissism today. Narcissists fit the biblical definition of a fool and then some. So, whatever the Bible says about fools, you can apply to narcissists. Let me explain.

We know that narcissists are arrogant, exploitative, envious, lacking in empathy, grandiose. They see themselves as superior and more special than everyone else. They think they are always right and are not interested in input from others. Conversations and relationships with them are a one-way street. Narcissists tend to blameshift and deflect in order to avoid taking responsibility. They tend to lie, manipulate, gaslight, play the victim, slander, shift, and change like a chameleon based on whoever they are with. Narcissists are high conflict and thrive on drama and chaos. Put these traits together into one person who demonstrates them over time, and you have what modern psychology calls a narcissist. Let’s see how this description compares to the Biblical illustration of a fool. 

• A fool has a disdain for learning and growth. (Proverbs 1:7)
• They are easily provoked and quick to show their irritation. (Proverbs 12:16)
• They are quick to express their emotions without restraint. (Proverbs 29:11)
• They believe they are always right and are resistant to advice or correction. (Proverbs 12:15)
• They consider themselves superior in wisdom. (Proverbs 26:12)
• They are not interested in gaining understanding but only in expressing their own opinions. (Proverbs 18:2)
• They engage in destructive behavior and negatively influence those around them. (Proverbs 13:20)
• They engage in deceit and slander, causing harm through their words. (Proverbs 10:18)
• They are prone to engaging in and provoking conflict and disputes. (Proverbs 20:3)
• They do not learn from their mistakes and continue to engage in the same foolish behaviors. (Proverbs 26:11)
• Their own bad choices bring about their downfall, yet they never look within to own up to it. Instead, they blame shift. (Proverbs 19:3)
• They reject having to give a genuine apology and view reconciliation efforts with contempt. (Proverbs 14:9)

Does any of that sound familiar? It is astounding how similar these traits of a fool are to those of a narcissist. Some types of narcissists may also fit the description of what Proverbs calls a “wicked person:” someone who is malicious and takes pleasure in the downfall and suffering of others. Most narcissists are not malicious but simply careless and reckless, but there are the malignant types, which are both foolish and wicked.

Now that we can see that the “fool” in proverbs can be taken to refer to the modern “narcissist,” let’s look at seven pieces of wisdom that Proverbs gives us in dealing with such individuals. These insights are powerful because they come from God. Scripture tells us the story of how Solomon asked God for wisdom, and God gave it to him. Later, Solomon wrote the Book of Proverbs with that God-given wisdom. 

1. Don’t Believe Charming Speech

Like a coating of silver dross on earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart. Enemies disguise themselves with their lips, but in their hearts they harbor deceit. Though their speech is charming, do not believe them, for seven abominations fill their hearts. (Proverbs 26:23-25)

This proverb is crucial when dealing with narcissists because it highlights how their words can be like a shiny coating—appealing on the surface but concealing something sinister underneath. Narcissists can be incredibly charming. They know exactly what to say to win your trust or make you doubt your own perceptions. But as this proverb warns, their hearts may harbor deceit.

How can you navigate a relationship with someone like this? First, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Just because someone says all the right things doesn’t mean their intentions are good. This proverb advises us not to be fooled by charming words—look deeper.

Second, be cautious with your trust. It’s okay to take your time before fully trusting someone, especially if you’ve noticed discrepancies between their words and actions. Narcissists are experts at hiding their true intentions behind a mask of charm, but they can’t keep the facade up forever. Eventually the truth will come out, and when it does, you will be glad you took your time in the relationship.

Finally, keep your boundaries strong. Be clear about what you will and won’t accept in your relationship. This can help you maintain your peace and avoid getting entangled in the narcissist’s deceitful games.

2. Avoid Confronting a Narcissist Directly

Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you. (Proverbs 9:7-8)

If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet. (Proverbs 29:9)

When dealing with narcissistic or manipulative individuals—whether fools, scoffers, or the wicked—direct confrontation can lead to dismissive laughter, strife, chaos, hostility, or even injury. It could be dangerous to take on such a person, as they can quickly become adversarial, villainize you, and make your life difficult. This doesn’t mean you should walk in fear, but it's crucial to discern what God requires of you in a particular relationship. Remember, greater is God who is in You. We have amazing stories in the Bible of nobodies taking down bullies—like David taking down Goliath, Gideon taking down the Midianites, and God using Moses to take down Pharoah. How is God calling you to move forward in this relationship? Is He calling you to confront this person? Or is He asking you to withdraw, draw closer to Him, focus on your health and healing, and let Him handle the confrontation?

3. Disengage When Necessary

Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge. (Proverbs 14:7)

Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease. (Proverbs 22:10)

Sometimes, the best way to deal with a narcissist or manipulative person is to disengage or limit interaction, especially when it hinders spiritual growth or peace. Removing yourself from the presence of a scoffer can lead to peace and the end of conflict. This underscores the importance of boundaries and self-protection.

Sometimes, in an effort to make the relationship work, we attempt to appease the narcissist, thinking that working on ourselves will solve the problems in the relationship. However, in these passages, Proverbs is clear that when you are in a relationship with a scoffer or a fool, the relationship is bound to be filled with strife, quarreling, and abuse. The only way to end the negative spiral is to separate yourself from the fool. Modern psychology often advises going no-contact with certain destructive individuals, and these Proverbs explain why that is sometimes necessary. 

4. Wisdom Involves Caution and Discernment

One who is wise is cautious and turns away from evil, but a fool is reckless and careless. (Proverbs 14:16)

Wisdom involves caution and discernment. A narcissist might try to make you feel that your caution or unease is a defect, suggesting that you’re being rigid or lacking faith. But Proverbs is clear that being cautious is a sign of wisdom. Turning away from evil and refusing to engage with it is wise. On the other hand, a fool, often displaying narcissistic traits, is reckless and heedless of consequences. Narcissists are quick to rush intimacy or commitment, often idealizing people and jumping into things with full intensity. Proverbs advises us to be cautious before committing to any serious relationship or partnership with someone.

5. A Narcissist Will Blame-Shift

When a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord. (Proverbs 19:3)

This verse reveals a core trait of narcissists: blame-shifting. Even when brought to ruin and humbled, their inclination is still to play the victim and blame external forces, including God. If the narcissist doesn’t blame God, they might blame the devil, people, or circumstances around them. This proverb highlights the absurdity of how a narcissist’s poor choices lead to poor outcomes, yet they persist in blaming others instead of taking responsibility.

Another proverb says, "Crush a fool in a mortar with a pestle along with crushed grain, yet his folly will not depart from him." (Proverbs 27:22). Proverbs is clear that folly or narcissism can be deeply entrenched in a person. Even when life circumstances—perhaps even engineered by God—bring them to a point of utter ruin, their reaction is typically not one of repentance or true transformation. They might momentarily turn to God, perhaps out of desperation, but as soon as the immediate pressure lifts, they revert to their ingrained patterns of blame-shifting and self-justification. Proverbs warns us that no matter how severe the consequences, a narcissist's deeply rooted behavior patterns are unlikely to change without a genuine heart transformation—one that they often resist.

6. Narcissists Think They Are Always Right

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (Proverbs 12:15)

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his opinion. (Proverbs 18:2)

These verses reveal another core trait of narcissistic individuals: they believe they are always right. They often see themselves as infallible and may dismiss or disdain advice or correction, viewing it as an attack on their perceived superiority. This mindset makes engaging with them constructively very challenging, especially when trying to offer guidance or resolve conflicts. These Proverbs explain why you can end up in a monologue or one-way conversation with a narcissist. They are not interested in dialoguing or hearing your perspective or even curious about your life or interests. They believe they are above learning from you or receiving any input from you. They are simply interested in talking and having an audience listen to them.

7. Words Have Power—Both to Wound and to Heal

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

This verse really hits home when you’ve experienced the verbal abuse that comes with narcissistic relationships. It’s like the Bible is describing exactly what it feels like—those cutting words, those sharp, hurtful remarks—they’re like being stabbed over and over again.

If you’ve been on the receiving end of a narcissist’s cruel words, you know it’s not just one comment here or there. It’s a relentless assault, and over time, it feels like death by a thousand cuts. Each little insult, each dig, chips away at your sense of self until you’re left feeling completely worn down.

This isn’t just a spiritual metaphor; research reflects this Proverb, showing that verbal abuse, especially when it’s repeated, can have long-lasting effects on your mental and physical health. It can lead to anxiety, depression, and also CPTSD.

However, Proverbs offers hope. While the scripture acknowledges the damage that words can inflict, it also highlights the healing power of wise words. If you’ve been hurt by a narcissist’s words, it’s so important to surround yourself with people who speak life into you and uplift and encourage you. Their words can be like a healing balm for your soul, helping to mend those deep wounds.

Here are some things you can do if you have experienced verbal abuse from a narcissist:

1. Seek out positive, healing relationships. Find people who will speak truth and love into your life, helping you rebuild your self-worth. 
2. Guard your heart. Be aware of the impact words can have on you, and don’t let the narcissist’s verbal attacks take root in your mind. 
3. Turn to God’s Word. Let His truth about who you are fill your heart and mind. Allow His healing words to heal your mind and body. As you meditate on His Word and allow it to touch you, He can reverse the effects of the narcissist’s verbal abuse.

Proverbs 12:18 not only validates what you’ve gone through, but it also points you towards healing. Remember, words have power—both to wound and to heal. Choose to fill your life with words that bring healing and life.

Conclusion

I hope these insights from the 7 Proverbs I shared have given you some powerful tools to navigate your relationships with narcissists. The wisdom in these scriptures isn’t just ancient—it’s alive and relevant to what you’re facing today. Whether it’s about setting boundaries, protecting your heart, or seeking healing, God’s Word has the guidance you need. 

Thank you for reading. See you in next week’s blog!

Related Resources

Watch the video of this blog here.

• Why You Feel Guilty For Setting Boundaries: 6 Lies the Narcissist Uses to Blame You for Your Needs [Read] [Watch]
• 5 Types of Boundaries You Need to Set with the Narcissist [Read] [Watch]
• The Demonic Spirits Behind Narcissism. [Watch] [Read]

Downloadable Resources 

• Checklist: Signs of Spiritual Abuse or Cultish Environments
• Checklist: 20 Signs that You Might Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse
• Guide: How to Pray for a Narcissist
• Prayer: Healing from Gaslighting
• E-book: 7 Steps to Spot a Narcissist