Have you ever been in a toxic relationship where it felt like you were under constant spiritual attack?

You’re praying. You’re fasting. You’re rebuking every demon you can name—and yet nothing shifts. Instead, you just feel more drained, more confused, like you're in a war you can't see but definitely feel.

If that sounds familiar, here’s something that might challenge what you’ve been taught:
The attack might not be coming from out there. It might actually be coming from within—through the relationship itself.

In this post, we’re going to expose the truth about spiritual attack in narcissistic relationships. You’ll learn how to recognize when warfare is being channeled through someone close to you—and what you can do to break free.

The Narcissist as the Mole Inside the Fortress

Narcissists love to throw around the phrase "spiritual warfare." But here’s the thing—they always make it about everyone else.
The attack is never them. It’s always coming from "out there"—from demons, toxic people, “Jezebels,” or anyone who dares to disagree with them.

Meanwhile, they play the role of the righteous warrior.
But in reality? They’re the mole inside the fortress.
They’re the one tearing down the walls from the inside while claiming they’re under siege.

Think of an old medieval fortress—stone walls, thick gates, strong defenses. Even if the enemy’s outside launching arrows or throwing boulders, if the walls are solid, the people inside are safe.

But what happens if someone inside starts poking holes in those walls? Or worse—opens the gates to let the enemy walk right in?
It doesn’t matter how fortified it looks from the outside—if the breach is internal, the battle is already lost.

Apply this fortress image to a narcissistic environment:

• It could represent your marriage.

• Your church.

• Even your family.

The "holes in the wall" aren't just mistakes. They're the narcissist’s unchecked pride, deception, sin, and refusal to take responsibility for anything. And the one opening the gate from the inside?
That’s the narcissist.

Scripture's Warning About Open Doors

Scripture gives us a powerful picture of this in Matthew 12.
Jesus describes what happens when an unclean spirit leaves someone: it wanders, looking for rest, and when it can’t find any, it returns. It finds the place swept clean and in order—but empty. So it invites seven other spirits even more wicked than itself, and they all move in.
Jesus says, "The final condition of that person is worse than the first."

Notice what the spirit says:
"I will return to my house."
That’s how it sees the person—a dwelling place.

And this principle isn’t just about individuals—it’s about homes, churches, and communities.

God wants to dwell in us.
1 Corinthians 6:19 says our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit.
But if that space is filled with pride, lies, and manipulation? That temple is wide open for darkness to take up residence.

Through repeated choices—patterns of self-worship, deception, and unrepentance—narcissists create spiritual entry points.
This isn’t just a character flaw. This is spiritual territory being handed over.

Romans 1 tells us that when someone keeps rejecting truth, their thinking becomes warped. Their heart becomes darkened. Their behavior follows.
It’s not just psychological—it’s deeply spiritual.

When the Spiritual Attack Comes Through Them

You could be strong in the Lord.
You could be praying, discerning, and walking closely with God.

But if the person you’re tied to is the open door?
The attack is coming through them.

They’ll twist everything:

• Speak word curses.

• Turn people against each other.

• Stir up confusion, doubt, and division.

• Gaslight you, isolate you, and drain you—then blame someone else.

They make you believe the battle is "out there," when really, it’s walking right through your front gate.

How Narcissism Operates Spiritually

At its core, narcissism is rooted in pride—the same sin that caused Lucifer to fall from heaven.
Isaiah 14:13–14 describes it:
"You said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; above the stars of God I will set my throne on high... I will make myself like the Most High.'"

This same diabolical spirit shows up in narcissists through:

1. Self-Deification

They put themselves in the position of God in your life.
They demand loyalty, service, attention—like they’re the center of the universe.

2. Spiritual Counterfeiting

They know how to sound spiritual, especially in religious settings.
But it’s just a performance—there’s no heart transformation behind it.
(See Matthew 7:15: "Wolves in sheep’s clothing.")

3. Spiritual Vampirism

They feed off your emotional and spiritual energy—your anxiety, your confusion, your hurt fuels them.
This isn’t just emotional abuse—it’s spiritual assault.

If you don't recognize it, you’ll keep trying to fix the relationship with love and patience... when what you actually need is distance and spiritual discernment.

Key Signs You're Experiencing Spiritual Attack from a Narcissist

Here are some signs to watch for:

• They talk about being attacked but leave a trail of hurt and division across many relationships.
  (Matthew 7:16: "You will recognize them by their fruits.")

• They blame others for "bringing demons" into their lives while manipulating and abusing people.
  (Direct inversion of James 4:7–8.)

• You feel constant confusion and self-doubt.
  (1 Corinthians 14:33: "God is not a God of confusion but of peace.")

• You've prayed and fasted, but things keep getting worse.
  Because the source of the attack is the person’s unrepentant heart—not an external enemy.

• They weaponize Scripture to control and guilt-trip you.
  (2 Peter 3:16: Twisting Scripture to their own destruction.)

• They twist faith into a tool for dominance instead of freedom.
  (John 8:32: "The truth will set you free.")

• You feel increasingly weighed down, anxious, and spiritually suffocated.
  (Isaiah 61:3: God replaces a spirit of heaviness with a garment of praise.)

• They speak destructive words over you that seem to take root in your spirit.
  (Proverbs 18:21: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue.")

Why Prayer Alone Doesn't Break the Stronghold

Many victims try to pray harder, fast longer, and fight more fiercely.
But here's the heartbreaking reality:

The narcissist is not fighting the attack with you.
They are the open gateway.

James 4:7 says:
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

But narcissists haven’t submitted to God. They’ve submitted to their own pride and self-worship.

Imagine trying to secure a house with someone who keeps opening the windows and doors at night.
No matter how much you pray, you can’t fully protect the house if they keep inviting danger in.

The same is true spiritually: their choices create access.

Until they choose to repent and close the doors themselves, the attack keeps coming.

Repentance isn’t optional.
Acts 3:19 says, "Repent, then, and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped away."
Repentance first. Then breakthrough.

But narcissists don’t truly repent.
They might apologize temporarily, but there’s no heart change.

Without transformation, the spiritual dynamics don’t shift.
They stay bound—and you stay caught in the crossfire.

Protect Your Heart and Walk in Freedom

Romans 1 warns that when someone continually rejects truth, their heart becomes darkened, and their mind depraved—not because God is harsh, but because He honors their free will.

In Mark 5, when Jesus cast out demons, they begged not to be driven from their territory.

Why? Because there was a spiritual attachment to that territory. And narcissists often have the same thing going on.

They’ve built their identity around the spiritual forces that empower their false self—pride, control, manipulation. That darkness gives them power. And they’re not ready to let it go.

John 3:19 says, “People loved the darkness rather than the light, because their deeds were evil.” And sadly, that’s the case for many of them.

Your prayers can’t override someone else’s free will.
You can’t fix a narcissist. You can’t fight a battle they refuse to fight.

But you can:

• Protect your heart.

• Set boundaries.

• Walk in the freedom Christ already secured for you.

Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is stop fighting for their breakthrough and start fortifying your own.

Final Encouragement

No matter how deep the deception, how strong the confusion, or how long the battle has gone on—toxic relationships do not get the final word.

Toxicity is not your destiny.
Freedom in Christ is.

Note:
If you resonated with this blog post, you might appreciate my Free Prayer to Heal from Gaslighting.
It’s available here and can help you anchor back into truth when the confusion hits.

Bless you—and remember: You are called to freedom, not bondage.

Related Resources

• Are Narcissists Traumatized or Demonized:  The Demonic Forces at Play Inside a Narcissist [Read] [Watch]
• The Demonic Spirits Behind Narcissism [Read] [Watch]
• Why Narcissists Go from Bad to Worse:  A Biblical Reality Check.  [Read] [Watch]
• 7 Insightful Proverbs from the Bible on How to Deal with Narcissists [Read] [Watch]
• Three Unforgettable Things Jesus Said You Should Do When You Encounter Religious Narcissists. [Watch]
• Love-bombing is Witchcraft:  How to Resist this Diabolical Manipulation [Read] [Watch]

Find more resources in our topic-based catalog.

Downloadable Resources 

• Checklist: Signs of Spiritual Abuse or Cultish Environments
• 7-Day Email Series:  Journey to Healing and Freedom
• Checklist: 20 Signs that You Might Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse
• Guide: How to Pray for a Narcissist
• Prayer: Healing from Gaslighting
• E-book: 7 Steps to Spot a Narcissist